My Daughter, Autism, Open Adoption and Irony

So as many of you know I have a beautiful daughter that I gave up for an open adoption, and she is turning 6.  At this point we believe that she is not on the Autism spectrum – but her adoptive older brother is.  When my daughter was adopted I don’t think they knew her older brother was on the Autism Spectrum.

My daughter and I

I believe her older brother having Autism has caused some interesting things to happen.  Open adoption isn’t easy, and when the birth mother is an abusive person it makes it even harder.  I can easily get overwhelmed by just my daughter but when you add the birth mothers threats, and constant stalking I get really overwhelmed and scared making the open adoption even more difficult.

With open adoption there is a lot of grey areas.  What are the boundaries, when is it okay to call, when is it okay to send my daughter a card.  Is it okay to stop by if I’m in the area?  Is it okay to say I’m uncomfortable with things?  What if I’m feeling mislead?  All these grey areas are hard to navigate and are frankly overwhelming.

Her older brother having Autism has allowed the adoptive parents to understand the difficulties I have and allowed us to grow closer.  I really think that if her older adoptive brother was not on the Autism Spectrum it would be even more difficult.


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