Autism and Sexuality is something that is not really talked about much. Many view those as Autism as children who will never grow up, be adults, get married, have sex and thus there isn’t much talk about sexual issues when it comes to Autism. I do have Autism, and it does cause me some sexual issues. I wrote this post after a beautiful and brave woman who is paralyzed in the UK wrote about her sex life online inspired me to be able to write about my issues in the hope that it helps others.
As many know people on the Autism spectrum are prone to sensory overload, and sex is a very sensational (pun intended) experience. There are smells, sounds, feelings, pressure, temperate an emotions involved at such a level that it can cause a brain to go into overload. I have no problem pleasing my partner, but often instead of going into climax myself I go into sensory overload and it becomes to much to continue. In fact during the first year of our relationship I almost never climaxed, I had no problem getting up but when it was time to get off it would just become to much for me.
As a guy this made me feel bad and inneffective. It made me feel horrible to be honest, and it really deeply effected our relationship. While its still an issue to this day I am much more likely to reach climax and there are a few things that helped.
Autism and Sexual Issues.. What Helped?
- Communication – hang on let me put that in bold… COMMUNICATION. Communication is so important, and now that I feel free enough to communicate that I’m started to get overwhelmed and need to slow down I don’t go into sensory overload as much.
- Patience – Patience with both people is key. You need to not get upset or angry at yourselves.
- Love – Unconditional love. Knowing that your good enough for someone even though they might not finish is a big help, and actually helps them finish.
- Also consider reading some good self help books such as Aspergers Syndrome and Sexuality, Aspergers Syndrome and Long Term Relationships and Autism, Aspergers and Sexuality.
- Try different positions, some positions are more sensory intense than others.